A friend of mine once overheard this:
Mommy: did you like disney?
Kid: yes
Mommy: are you happy?
Kid: yes
Mommy: do you know that it's important to Mommy that you're happy?
Today is my sister's flight back abroad. It's been a busy, fun and super happy 16 days.
When I prayed for this a few months back, I know it's possible to be complete again and go out of town where we can leave all the problems in the busy metro and simply relax with each other.
But sometimes I tend to just shove my prayers at the far end of my head and rationalize that God is good and everything will be done according to His will. Now while that is true, sometimes it becomes a cover for my dwindling faith. Kinda like, "Oh this is just some dream...God is too prestigious to give me this small dream." Other times,it makes me see Him as a professional God, just saving the world and orchestrating our lives through painful pruning that brings out the best in us.
When either of these happens I unconsciously stop seeing Him as a happy and fun god. I belittled Him thinking that that's all He does--polishes our character to match His standard and be worthy of His family Name...without affection. Without a relationship. Kinda like those super etiquette-stickler moms who kill all the fun in their kid's life just so the kid can watch her manners.
As the family prepares to see ate off today, I visualize the reality next year and how Skype, YM and Facebook will play an important role in our relationship. With all the bills to pay, dreams to begin, overdue dreams to catch up on-- it's going to be difficult to regularly visit Manila.
And yet my "professional" God showed me that He knows too how to have fun when He answered this prayer. Though I believe more that God is more concerned with our holiness and character than our happiness, seems to me that God is telling me that He wants us happy IN HIM too.
I must remember the fine line:
A. If He's just a trials-and-difficulties God, then life with Him would be black and gray.
B. If He's just an ask-and-you-shall-receive god, then He becomes a genie god. And all I would be after are the benefits of having Him as my God.
Oswald Chambers gave the perfect angle:
Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.
John Piper gave another angle too:
God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him
Because, indeed, He's the only One who makes my dreams come true while perfecting my character. And He's the only One who would ever deeply want that for you and for me. And the only One capable too.
So instead of pursuing the benefits, pursue the Source. As I get to know the Source more and more, the benefits start to pale in comparison with the beauty of this Source. I begin to delight in Him. And He gives me the desires of my heart.
♫ The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper that the ones you're clinging to
More precious than the finest things you knew
And truer than the treasures you pursue ♫
(Avalon)
And that's exactly what I'm feeling right now about what He's feeling about me as I play worship songs and prepare to go to Naia.
God: Did you like your ate's visit?
Je: Yes
God: Are you happy?
Je: Yes
God: Do you know that it's important to Me that you're happy?
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