Does it often happen to you? You know when someone did you a favor but causing you inconvenience in the process? Like the mom who had the laundry picked up which included your blue cardigan that’s supposed to complete your ensemble that day? Or the sister who bought the wrong brand of napkins?
Sounds bratty?
Come on, every once in a while something can tick us off. After all, we don’t live in a perfect world where pet peeves don’t exist. Do you notice how we tend to dramatize our reasons or be protective of our convenience that a mere slight needs to be punished or at least verbalized? So before we can even stop ourselves there goes a glare, a sharp tone, a hint of sarcasm, etc.
I deserve to be angry!
My reaction is understandable!
I'm sure you can appreciate my frustration!
But peeve is actually beside my point. It is gratefulness that I am driving at.
Something about being grateful struck me when I recalled those incidents in my examples above. I was so bent on expressing my annoyance that it didn't even occur to me that mom made an effort to take care of our laundry or my sister was just trying to do what she’s told.
So it got me into thinking...we express gratefulness in several ways but I don't think it is defined just by profusely thanking a person. Perhaps it's embodied in the sayings “one good turn deserves another” and "paying it forward". But for me there’s a deeper form of gratefulness than these.
I think the true test of gratefulness lies in the capacity to forgive.
Because, really, when you think about it gratefulness isn’t something that can be seen with a naked eye like giving special treatment to the person you’re grateful to. The real beauty of gratefulness is something that only you and the Lord can see. And it is best provoked when you’re provoked. It’s being on the verge to snap at someone yet you control yourself. It is cutting the other person some slack because you remember something that you have anyway, like the laundry being taken care of even if it spoiled your Tuesday getup. It’s choking back harsh words because you choose to be grateful for the favors instead.
What, am I supposed to force myself to be kind now to this irritating person just because I’m grateful to another? Hey, it's not wrong to be irritated sometimes, right?
I asked myself as I write this.
Not entirely accurate. More like irritated or not I can choose to motivate myself to be as kind as I could not because of the other person but because of the Source of all favors.
The Cross is an active reminder of showing kindness to our neighbor. It strengthens us to be forgiving and also reminds us that we were shown kindness first…kindness that we do not, ever, deserve.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
- Matthew 18:32-35
** Dedicated to mom and my sister – two of the dearest people in my life yet always get the worst of me **
