A puddle of grasp of an ocean of love

I wasn't purchased 

with gold or silver. 

I was purchased 

by the blood 

of the Son of the Most High.

So much was paid 

for a worthless speck of dust 

like me.

And I thought 

the sea was too great, 

when what I'm looking at 

was just a tiny piece 

of the waters of the earth.

The same way I am overwhelmed 

with Your love 

I think already oh so big 

when, really, this is but 

a glimpse.

Keep it to yourself

Last night, I ended up sleeping on our couch because I was so tired.  My sister who got home in the middle of the night, loves to watch movies and that she did. Unfortunately, she chose to watch The Avengers.  The noise and bass made me toss and turn until I couldn't bear it any longer and was wide awake under the covers.  My sister didn't notice me because she was enjoying the movie. 

I vividly remember this strong force in me to not say a thing and just go inside the bedroom and continue my disrupted sleep there.  But the rotten attitude in me wanted to punish her with guilt by telling her accusingly what she put me through. 

And so I did. I told her. In an petulant and harsh manner because I was all ticked off. 

It set off an air of animosity on an early Monday morning. I ate my breakfast in silence and she prepared for bed in silence too.  



After I finished my breakfast, I put on my favorite series of all time, Scrubs, and was struck by the episode I randomly chose.




The episode was about four people who did something nice but had to pay for it.





1. JD asked his best friend Turk to spend time with him on Turk's day off.  Because of that Turk was not able to finish his pile of work he usually finishes on his off.

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2.  Cox who enjoys being feared by his subordinates makes his wife happy by going out on a couple's date with an intern.  This intern told his fellow interns about that night and how Cox was forced to be in a conversation with him. When Cox shows up at work the following day, the interns no longer fear him, and even boldly try to be in a conversation with him.  

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3. Carla runs interference for her boss whose dog died. Her tough boss did not want his staff to see him this vulnerable so Carla was tasked to talk to people on his behalf.  Unfortunately, his boss hardly said yes to any of the requests of his staff.  So Carla spent the whole day rejecting requests. When she took a lunch break and sat with her colleagues, they all stood up and moved to another table.  They all hated her. 

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In the middle of the episode, the narrator asked, "Was it worth it?"



This was answered by the fourth person in the story.  He donated half of his liver to his brother who was sick but it almost cost him his life.  

On the morning after the surgery, his surgeon visited him and asked:

Turk: Did your brother freak out when you told him you almost died?
Patient: I didn't tell Frank.  Look at him so happy. If he knew what I went through he'd feel terrible. Why would I wanna do that when I love him so much.



Needless to say, after watching the episode it reminded me of the incident with my sister this morning.  It made me realize that sometimes keeping it to yourself is more loving than some acts of kindness.  It's a small form of sacrifice. 


My rotten attitude stinks like hell and I wish I could get rid of it so I could be more loving because I want my life to be God-glorifying.  In Jesus, I never, ever feel God accusing me of my wrong attitude. Instead, I feel His fatherly love wanting to fix all the bad gunk in my heart. All I need to do is approach the Throne of grace because no matter how I try, I will never defeat the sinful nature in me on my own. 

Missing cash

When someone stole the cash in the safe where my sister works she, along with her co-managers, were detained and questioned.  It was 19 days before her wedding which I have been organizing in the last four months.  It was supposed to be a surprise renewal of vows that her husband wants to give her during their visit in Manila last month. But because of the problem that Ate encountered at work, it was no longer a surprise. 

I was going to bbm her to ask her to bring mini-chocolates that I will use on the wedding table when I noticed that her bbm status said, "In times like this, You are in control."

I asked her what's with her status and that's when she told me what happened. Someone in their company stole the cash.  All managers are suspect.  She was detained inside the precinct for 7 hours and we exchanged bbm messages the entire 7 hours praising God, trusting that He will vindicate the innocent, confident that this incident is not something that God overlooked. 

Still, there's no brushing off the nervousness. 

What's going to happen to the wedding?

Are they gonna take my ate's job away?

Are they going to throw them into prison?

I will never forget the look on her face the following evening when she made an overseas call to Manila to ask me to go on Skype. She burst into tears as she pleaded with me to cancel everything because they're not letting her go home.

But my heart was steadfast in the Lord, trusting Him. I know He never miscalculates. I know He's the authority of all authorities. I know He's attracted to the oppressed.  I know the wedding is not my plan nor my brother-in-law's plan. It's His. So I was absolutely "un-hopeless".  Nervous, yes. But trusting. 

They took my sister's passport away. And they gave her and the others two options only: prosecution and jail or pay the missing cash.

For days, we kept praying. One afternoon that week, she bbm'd me saying that they're on their way to sign a paper agreeing to pay. I sent lotsa bbm saying to wait for the Lord.  My belief was God is ultra-generous. He will vindicate my sister without costing her money.  But my sister said she felt that that's what she needed to do and she found peace in it. 

So they signed and then she was allowed to go home, 3 days before her wedding. 

I consulted with my small group because I was a little confused with what happened.

Why would God allow this inconvenience if the wedding is His idea after all? Why let ate pay?

Their answers,

1. That nation loves obedience. Ate, like her Savior, displayed humility and obedience instead of defiance.  The character of her Savior shined in her before these people who haven't heard about Jesus.

2. She paid for what she didn't owe, trusting God will replace it, even in doubles.

3. God didn't waste her money. He used the opposition to build a muscles of faith in Ate.

As Ate was quoted as saying on the dawn of her wedding day, when she and our other sister went down to the beach and lifted up our hands in worship. 
God, through this missing cash, taught her dependence on Him. 
That He easily gave this job to her and He can easily take it away. 

Her faith in Him is more precious than that missing cash.

"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold..."

- 1 Peter 1:7

Ate's wedding in Boracay

Haven't blogged for a while. Sooo busy. Soo blessed!