Nervous speaker

I had my speech demo today. If i pass this i will get a training on communication skills courtesy of my company. I was ready to invest money on a speech club and here is a free training knocking on my door. But of all days, I started the day wrong today. First, I woke up late after staying up till 5 in the morning finishing the last leg of our 3 week old laundry. Then, I had a coat and shoes crisis. And then i became frustrated I didn't have enough time to spend time with God, and not enough time to practice my prepared speech. I was in a surly mood as I pressured everybody to get in the car. My family was gracious. Mom did not aggravate the pressure I was feeling. Jen prayed for my speech demo before papa drove off. Papa drove really fast trying to get me there on time.

By the time I arrived at the venue, my nervousness has catapulted to a level that is physically weakening. I had a few more minutes to practice so I started cramming. But a sleepy feeling suddenly embraced me. I whispered to God that I couldn't do this. Help me.

When my name was called, i started out as nervous like any normal human being. Then my nervousness dissolved. And i was speaking. Then, I took my notes away and I spoke. I smiled, I gestured, i looked at the eyes of the interviewers. I had vivid recollection of my material. And I just went on and on.

That is not to say the interviewers did not find areas for opportunity.  They did. But the point is, there's this peace that is beyond understanding that took over.

My God never fails. He came through for me. He is always ready to help...always glad to help.

9/22 4:47
CBTL, Burgos Circle

I hate my bestfriend's boyfriend

Today, I feel very convicted. It was my friendt R's bday and I dread seeing her boyfriend there.  Just like any blood and tight girlfriends, i'm protective of her. I think R is too good for her. He was separated, focused on his collection of chickens more than the annulment and he swears a lot and said a lot of obscene words to R when he accused her of changing his facebook password. My point is, if he is treating her that way already out of a very trivial matter then how is he going to react or treat her if it is a huge matter. Would he start beating up R soon? So i refused to be in the same room with her boyfriend...so much i was willing to miss Z's baby shower and R's 30th bday.

Good thing Z did not invite him.  But he did show up at R's bday of course.  I didn't know how to act around him. I don't want to be friendly lest he thinks everything's ok and hurting R again will be ok. So i did what every coward girl would do: pretend he did not exist. Not even if he was standing right there before me.  And in that brief moment i felt the firm tugs of conviction.

As we made our way to our car, i kept thinking about what just happened. We were on our way to attend the 8pm service and it was a good 30 minute drive...enough for God to talk to me.

1. God calls me to forgive...not to save.
2. Jesus would never ignore any person
3. I can be there for R without necessarily agreeing with her
4. R is too good for him but Jesus is too good for me too, isn't he? Yet Jesus entered into a relationship with me anyway.

A true Christian is...

Romans 2:29 NLT

No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God’s Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people.

7 things the Lord hates

Proverbs 6:16-19 NLT

There are six things the L ord hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

After elected as king came the trouble. Seems God is setting it up to give opp for the king to be recognized

1 Samuel 10:24 NIV

Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see the man the Lord has chosen? There is no one like him among all the people.” Then the people shouted, “Long live the king!”

1 Samuel 11:1 NIV

Nahash the Ammonite went up and besieged Jabesh Gilead. And all the men of Jabesh said to him, “Make a treaty with us, and we will be subject to you.”

Look at God's kindness and graciousness

1 Samuel 10:17-19 NIV

Samuel summoned the people of Israel to the Lord at Mizpah and said to them, “This is what the Lord , the God of Israel, says: ‘I brought Israel up out of Egypt, and I delivered you from the power of Egypt and all the kingdoms that oppressed you.’ But you have now rejected your God, who saves you out of all your disasters and calamities. And you have said, ‘No, appoint a king over us.’ So now present yourselves before the Lord by your tribes and clans.”