I am fascinated by the story of God testing Abraham. God knows the whole story...He knows Abraham will choose to trust Him. But will Abraham ever know that during the most difficult moment of his life, he will choose God over what he loves the most had he not gone through that testing? Being an all-knowing God, I do not think He tests people so He can be assured that we love Him and we trust Him. He knows what our choice will be in the end. But we need to know for ourselves too.
Dream company
Browsing through my facebook today, I came across this:
If you are a friend of mine, you would know that ROHEI is my dream company. Ever since I heard about it about 4 years ago, it is still my dream company.
There are three things why ROHEI is my dream company:
1. It is founded and led by a woman who is deeply in love with Jesus
2. The company's core values are biblical
3. The nature of their business is to train and empower people
I did not finish school and ROHEI is based in Singapore--these are the reasons why I could not get in. I tried to apply for an internship there, but they cater only to Singaporean students--two requirements I immediately failed.
Today, that post above reminded me again of my dream company. But not to make me feel bitter, but to inspire me and to challenge me that if I am not getting in there, I am bringing my dream company in the current organization that I am part of right now.
How? The answer is simple but the actual work is going to be hard. I am going to live out in my current org the core values of this dream company. See those in yellow below:
By God's grace.
There are three things why ROHEI is my dream company:
1. It is founded and led by a woman who is deeply in love with Jesus
2. The company's core values are biblical
3. The nature of their business is to train and empower people
I did not finish school and ROHEI is based in Singapore--these are the reasons why I could not get in. I tried to apply for an internship there, but they cater only to Singaporean students--two requirements I immediately failed.
Today, that post above reminded me again of my dream company. But not to make me feel bitter, but to inspire me and to challenge me that if I am not getting in there, I am bringing my dream company in the current organization that I am part of right now.
How? The answer is simple but the actual work is going to be hard. I am going to live out in my current org the core values of this dream company. See those in yellow below:
By God's grace.
Singlehood, pursuit of marriage, spouse---alien words I stashed away, way away in the back of my head
Today, I opened my eyes and started filling my heart with the truths of God. I do it by reading the Bible, Christian articles, praying, worshipping, listening to worship songs.
For the first time after I became a Christian, I started reading articles about dating.
I am single as of this writing. I have never dated ever since I became a Christian 5 years ago. Dating suddenly became an unfamiliar ground...it became delicate, fragile, mysteriously beautiful and I refuse to jump at any opportunity. Dating no longer felt like a priority or a prerequisite. For me it is just a bonus to this already wonderful life with God.
And i found that the only difficult part of singlehood is the people around us. Singlehood is such a blessed state! There is so much freedom, so much time, so much opportunities to spend time with God and revel in his creation: travel, families, holidays, etc.
But the people in the lives of the single people are the thorns in this blessed state. They are those who think you are undesireable, those who assume you are miserable. They pity you, they interrogate you, they give unsolicited advices, they judge you--so much I have become adept in wearing my polite, bubble smile. The kind of smile wherein I politely enter my bubble and tune out what these peoples are saying. Because they don't understand, I'm having the time of my life! So much I never prayed for a spouse. I knew I am ready to die an old, single lady, perfectly loved and accepted by my Creator. I knew my needs are well-met by God even on this earth. In fact, I'm filled to the brim...an overflow that leads to reaching out to my families, the lost, the broken wherein I play my role as a child of God into leading them to this overflow love that was displayed on the Cross.
But last month, I developed an infatuation for someone whom I only knew from afar. In my past, I usually developed a deep crush for someone I have at least a level of friendship with and not for people I barely knew. I do crush on people I haven't even met, but they are tamed crushes that are usually fleeting. Nothing that will keep me away from sleep or food.
So when I started liking this guy, I started pursuing what God is saying about dating. I am in the early stages. I don't know anything about this guy and I don't know yet what God wants to show me. But so far, here's what have struck me as I read more about what God is saying about dating:
1. Marriage is worth having because you get God in your lifelong commitment to one another. Marriage is about knowing God, worshiping God, depending on God, displaying God, being made like God. God made man and woman in his image and joined them together, giving them unique responsibilities to care for one another in their broken, but beautiful union. Source
2. If the guy for me turns out to be exactly into item number 1, I would probably be so weak in the knees, head-over-feeet in love with this guy over and over. So I prayed as early as now, that no matter how good this future husband is, may he never steal the part of my heart that belongs to God and God alone.
For the first time after I became a Christian, I started reading articles about dating.
I am single as of this writing. I have never dated ever since I became a Christian 5 years ago. Dating suddenly became an unfamiliar ground...it became delicate, fragile, mysteriously beautiful and I refuse to jump at any opportunity. Dating no longer felt like a priority or a prerequisite. For me it is just a bonus to this already wonderful life with God.
And i found that the only difficult part of singlehood is the people around us. Singlehood is such a blessed state! There is so much freedom, so much time, so much opportunities to spend time with God and revel in his creation: travel, families, holidays, etc.
But the people in the lives of the single people are the thorns in this blessed state. They are those who think you are undesireable, those who assume you are miserable. They pity you, they interrogate you, they give unsolicited advices, they judge you--so much I have become adept in wearing my polite, bubble smile. The kind of smile wherein I politely enter my bubble and tune out what these peoples are saying. Because they don't understand, I'm having the time of my life! So much I never prayed for a spouse. I knew I am ready to die an old, single lady, perfectly loved and accepted by my Creator. I knew my needs are well-met by God even on this earth. In fact, I'm filled to the brim...an overflow that leads to reaching out to my families, the lost, the broken wherein I play my role as a child of God into leading them to this overflow love that was displayed on the Cross.
But last month, I developed an infatuation for someone whom I only knew from afar. In my past, I usually developed a deep crush for someone I have at least a level of friendship with and not for people I barely knew. I do crush on people I haven't even met, but they are tamed crushes that are usually fleeting. Nothing that will keep me away from sleep or food.
So when I started liking this guy, I started pursuing what God is saying about dating. I am in the early stages. I don't know anything about this guy and I don't know yet what God wants to show me. But so far, here's what have struck me as I read more about what God is saying about dating:
1. Marriage is worth having because you get God in your lifelong commitment to one another. Marriage is about knowing God, worshiping God, depending on God, displaying God, being made like God. God made man and woman in his image and joined them together, giving them unique responsibilities to care for one another in their broken, but beautiful union. Source
2. If the guy for me turns out to be exactly into item number 1, I would probably be so weak in the knees, head-over-feeet in love with this guy over and over. So I prayed as early as now, that no matter how good this future husband is, may he never steal the part of my heart that belongs to God and God alone.
God is not a killjoy
"We are not meant to revel in his creation instead of him or more than in him but because of him, and because there is something of him in all that is good and beautiful."
- John Piper -
Crushes and Sweethearts
Lord, distracted lang po. Pero di kita ipagpapalit kay Paul. Ang sarap lang nya isipin ngayon. Curious ako sa kanya. Nababaitan ako. And it demands my waking moments. Hindi ko po madescribe yung feeling pero para akong may blinders. May dark clouds hanging around my head. And all I could think about was how it feels good to live out every desire and fantasy in my head. Kaya hindi muna ako masyado nakakapagpray at nagspend time with you.
But the thing is, no matter how magical I make it out to be in my head or how magical this can potentially be if ever we do get together, I look at the sky...i see thousands of stars dazzling so majestically. The difference between these earthly good feelings and the wonders in the sky are so huge.
And it reminded me of the greater treasures out there...in Your hands.
It paints a picture of me, a simple girl consumed by desire for another boy...and a great God, who created everything, consumed by desire for me.
It tells me of my small view, small plan and little desires.
And it tells of Your deep dreams for me, the great works you have prepared in advance for me before you even created the world, the many miracles waiting to be poured, the sweet revelations meant to make my heart be kilig for You, the events in my life written and all planned-out to make me fall in love with you over and over. You designed marriage so I won't be alone here on earth...but You designed my heart to love You and enjoy You than anything or anyone else in this world. That is why You created me...to glorify You and enjoy You forever.
And the earthly desires can sometimes steal that golden purpose in my heart.
But...but You wouldn't compare to Paul. 10,000 guys in love with me put together will not compare to:
How you knew me
How you created my inmost being
How you know my thoughts so well you know a word even before I say it
How you are familiar with all of my ways--what makes me kilig, what saps my joy, what makes me afraid, what makes me feel pretty, what makes me pretty, what satisfies my longings
How you numbered all my hairs
How you have tattooed my name in your palms
I know, Lord, you are not a killjoy God. In fact you remove what kills joy. So although you never forbid having crushes, I know you are concerned about how a simple crush can consume a girl, evoke all the longings there, remind her of everything she is not, get all her focus on this other created human more than the Creator.
And so, in the middle of this in love feeling, I will deal with this desire by severing it with a much bigger desire...your desire for me.
Help me, help me focus on You. Shower my heart with spiritual bouquet of roses and chocolate bars. Woo me, win me again. Oh so satisfy me that I wouldn't be easily distracted. I will look at the stars again tonight and remember that the One who created these magical things is the One who first loved me.
(Lord, I'm just distracted...but I am never going to trade you for Paul. It is just so good to think about him right now. I'm curious at him. I find him nice. And it demands my waking moments. I can't describe the feelings but I feel I have blinders. There are dark clouds hanging around my head and all I could think about was how it feels good to live out every desire and fantasy in my head. And that's why I couldn't pray as often as I used to. And I haven't been spending quality time with you.)
And it tells of Your deep dreams for me, the great works you have prepared in advance for me before you even created the world, the many miracles waiting to be poured, the sweet revelations meant to make my heart be kilig for You, the events in my life written and all planned-out to make me fall in love with you over and over. You designed marriage so I won't be alone here on earth...but You designed my heart to love You and enjoy You than anything or anyone else in this world. That is why You created me...to glorify You and enjoy You forever.
How you knew me
How you created my inmost being
How you know my thoughts so well you know a word even before I say it
How you are familiar with all of my ways--what makes me kilig, what saps my joy, what makes me afraid, what makes me feel pretty, what makes me pretty, what satisfies my longings
How you numbered all my hairs
How you have tattooed my name in your palms
You are probably smiling at my cuteness and craziness right now...and yet You will close doors no one can open, and open doors no one can close. And that is where I rest. Whether it's Paul, a different future, or a blessed singlehood, that is where I rest, in Your hands.
Battles and the Warrior
Do you ever feel God is so distant? That He orchestrates events to strengthen your character--from afar? Sitting holy and distant in His throne and looking on you as you fight your battles alone? Our circumstances can be so difficult it is hard to believe God is with us.
Beloved, that is a lie. Let me share with you 3 things that will shatter that lie.
1. God Himself is a warrior.
- The Lord is a warrior. The Lord is His Name. Exodus 15:3
2. God is the one fighting the battles for you.
- But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God Acts 5:38
- He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” 2 Kings 6:16
- The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
- Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. 2 Chronicles 20:15
- ...for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory. Deut 20:4
- Because the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you Deut 23:14
- It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deut 31:8
- For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. Psalm 18:39
- Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Luke 10:19
- Through you we push down our foes; through your name we tread down those who rise up against us. Psalm 44:5
- fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
- Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4
- What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
- I will go before you and level the exalted place Isaiah 45:2
- You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you.’ Deut 3:22
3. In the heart of the Warrior is YOU. Inspired by this blog
"That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you."
- Isaiah 43:4 (MSG)
Small Group
I am a product of small groups--that is, I grew more in my walk with God through having a TEAM with me in this walk. But I made a mistake, huge mistake of making a god out of my small group. I did not realize I started to have unrealistic expectations. I wanted control. I felt entitled. And when I did not get my expectations, I crumbled...stayed away and finally, stepped into a 2-year lone journey of my walk with Christ. Oh, don't be mistaken. God never left me. But the journey was more difficult because I was alone. No more did I hear encouraging voices, no more was a sister who helped carry the other end of my baggage.
And the ember. The ember slowly died down as it stood alone, away from the group of ember sticking together, creating and sustaining fire.
I did not immediately realize all of this. I thought I was fine, attending Church on my own, faithfully having quiet time. But really, I started cooling down. The voices of the world were way louder now. And I found myself mirroring their language, I found myself easily irritated, and when I spoke or reacted in a way that is different than how God commanded us to respond and interact with people, i knew something was definitely wrong. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
And this post that I made in Instagram pretty much sums up what happened to me when I became cool towards God.
I did not know how to start getting back to the right path. Maybe I knew, but for some reason, life always gets in the way...and I just couldn't get started. I kept putting it off, and before I knew it, there were two whole years of a cold spiritual journey.
God knew I am so going to need help. And today was the day He initiated a move.
I went to catch up with old friends...sisters-in-Christ at work. It was an ordinary catch up, and i wasn't really looking forward to it because remember my heart was cold and I didn't have any interest in another small group meeting. I went anyway.
We met at 9ish in the morning and left Coffee Bean at 9ish in the evening. L.A. shared her struggles with her own spiritual family. Lyt talked about her own share of spiritual family challenges. And I was like, wait, what? We were going through the same thing and we did not know about it? So the stories poured...we talked about our feelings, our assumptions, the consequences, our positions.
And we all realized...the enemy has wreaked havoc in our lives long enough. It's time to get back up and fight back. We did not know how...but we started with what we know how.
Commit a time with God everyday... and cover each other with prayers.
We started a group chat in Facebook, just the three of us. We called it SHOFAR--a hebrew word meaning trumpet. In the Old Testament, the people of God start their battles by sounding the trumpet. And that's what we are doing. We confessed our sins to each other and shared every revelation from God. By August of this year, we saw how faithful God is! We may not be 'there' yet, but He met us faithfully in those few minutes that we dedicated to Him. We read a word here, and then see how relevant that Word was going to be later that day. And God just kept revealing. He kept meeting us, I swear I would have imagined Him waiting in that spot by Himself even if neither of us shows up.
The mountains to climb are still high...but one thing's for sure. God will never leave us even in the low mountains. He never judges us or plants grudges against us for leaving Him in this walk. In fact, He is forever working, forever restoring us no matter how often we pull away.
And the ember. The ember slowly died down as it stood alone, away from the group of ember sticking together, creating and sustaining fire.
I did not immediately realize all of this. I thought I was fine, attending Church on my own, faithfully having quiet time. But really, I started cooling down. The voices of the world were way louder now. And I found myself mirroring their language, I found myself easily irritated, and when I spoke or reacted in a way that is different than how God commanded us to respond and interact with people, i knew something was definitely wrong. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
And this post that I made in Instagram pretty much sums up what happened to me when I became cool towards God.
I did not know how to start getting back to the right path. Maybe I knew, but for some reason, life always gets in the way...and I just couldn't get started. I kept putting it off, and before I knew it, there were two whole years of a cold spiritual journey.
God knew I am so going to need help. And today was the day He initiated a move.
I went to catch up with old friends...sisters-in-Christ at work. It was an ordinary catch up, and i wasn't really looking forward to it because remember my heart was cold and I didn't have any interest in another small group meeting. I went anyway.
We met at 9ish in the morning and left Coffee Bean at 9ish in the evening. L.A. shared her struggles with her own spiritual family. Lyt talked about her own share of spiritual family challenges. And I was like, wait, what? We were going through the same thing and we did not know about it? So the stories poured...we talked about our feelings, our assumptions, the consequences, our positions.
And we all realized...the enemy has wreaked havoc in our lives long enough. It's time to get back up and fight back. We did not know how...but we started with what we know how.
Commit a time with God everyday... and cover each other with prayers.
We started a group chat in Facebook, just the three of us. We called it SHOFAR--a hebrew word meaning trumpet. In the Old Testament, the people of God start their battles by sounding the trumpet. And that's what we are doing. We confessed our sins to each other and shared every revelation from God. By August of this year, we saw how faithful God is! We may not be 'there' yet, but He met us faithfully in those few minutes that we dedicated to Him. We read a word here, and then see how relevant that Word was going to be later that day. And God just kept revealing. He kept meeting us, I swear I would have imagined Him waiting in that spot by Himself even if neither of us shows up.
The mountains to climb are still high...but one thing's for sure. God will never leave us even in the low mountains. He never judges us or plants grudges against us for leaving Him in this walk. In fact, He is forever working, forever restoring us no matter how often we pull away.
 |
| The lady on the right is not part of the Shofar sisters. She is another friend we always invite to our meetings. |
Skype Small Group
For as long as Jesus is the King over our household, we will never crumble. Family Skype Prayer no matter how oceans apart we are is one of the great things in this life.
