Hey you, little worshiper, slow down..you're missing the point!

I had my share of "Martha" too. Oh you know the busy sister who didn't have time for the Lord. But it's kinda different. At the risk of sounding pompous, I always try to prioritize God. Except that I am becoming what Darlene Zschech described in EN10: I tell God I want to worship and serve Him. So He sends people and situations my way to give me an opportunity to do so, but, guess what? I'm too busy praying. Just too busy praying. 

Here are the ugly truths revealed to me: 

"Lord I wanna know You more."

So excited always to go to Church or do quiet time when I've no work...but last I checked, I get to see my family lang during those brief, nagmamadali moments of going to sleep from work and in a hurry to leave for work. 

"Lord, I wanna be a salt and light too."

Haven't visited my two lolas for months now but I always have time to go for a spontaneous trip to Tagaytay with any random friend.

"Lord, I wanna serve You."

Always available for Kids Church but haven't found quality time to sit down and engage the kids God sent to me individually. Kids who need ministering, kids hungry for miracles.

"Lord, I want to be a blessing in every relationship in my life."

I love my friends, soul sisters, small group, even officemates I barely know. But I demand a lot from, argue a lot with and accuse my own sister.

"Lord, thank You for the gift of prayer."

I pray for my sick caller struggling to pay her mortgage, for the old lady crossing the road, for anything at all. And the horrible, shameful truth? I always forget to pray for my own tita who has stage 4 cancer, shackled by one cold sin and who has yet to know Jesus.

Maybe my mind is a sick, twisted thing that blows things out of proportion. Maybe I just don't get it. Oh, there are lotsa things I still don't get, lots of points I'm still missing.

And, yeah, sure I'm the little worshiper who doesn't get it. But I wanna be the worshiper who all the more stubbornly clings on to Jesus for the exact, same reason: because I'm not getting it.

Because I'm not gonna get it by my own understanding.

Only Jesus can do it for me.

And I refuse to NOT remain in Him. After all, in the midst of my flaws and weaknesses, didn't He say, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And just like Paul, "I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Bird!

Kid 1: Teacher, he said a bad word.


Je: Dont say that bad word again ha.


Kid 2: (eyerolling) it's just "bird"


Je: Ok, it's not a bad word, he means the flying animal.


Kid 3: Duh! It also means a body part.




-oh my, teacher needed grace.

frap cold encounter

"So what are you reading?"

You really don't know who'd you meet talga. It can be nice to talk to strangers most of the time and listen to their stories. Some can become fast friends. Some can impart lessons like that old lady who shared a table with me at Mcdo. And some can simply ruin your Saturday morning.

Like today.

I was sharing the second level of a coffee shop with a few people who came and went. I was comfortably reading, even doing my bad habit of pulling strands of my hair every now and then that I didn't notice there was no other person there except a European businessman. He suddenly asked me what I was reading. It led to a few small talks, mostly weird stuff about him like how he claims to be a student of life or how he likes sticking needles into his head (I hope he meant acupuncture and nothing weird).

As we talked, I realized that he's sizing me up from head to toe, the kind of stare that misses nothing.

He tossed his business card on the table and kept talking. By then I didn't like anymore the vibe I was picking up.

I raised the book I was reading up to neck-level to: 1. keep him from looking at my breasts and 2. show him the huge MAX LUCADO on the cover of the book. I was hoping that either the gesture or the Christian author would imply something along the lines of, "if you think this is a potential pick up, boy, you're wrong. Dead wrong."

Anyway, he didn't get it. So i quickly rehearsed leave-me-alone lines in my mind. But before I could even have a chance to dismiss him, he asked for my email and number. He got a flat no. He asked why. I simply answered, "Cause I don't give my info to strangers," and I went back to reading in such a manner that the only response is to walk away.

He snatched his card from the table and sharply said, "Ok, then I won't give mine...if you don't like meeting people." For a moment there I thought he'd hurt me (I vaguely remembered we were the only ones there). I thought, mapapaaway pa ata ako ah. I was relieved when he gathered his stuff and stormed downstairs, as if nagdadabog.

I wish there was one person at that time I could've said, "Can you believe the nerve of that guy??" to.

I'm still going back to that place. If by any chance I see him again and he talks to me again, I'll bring out my Bible and tell him the Gospel.