Hey you, little worshiper, slow down..you're missing the point!

I had my share of "Martha" too. Oh you know the busy sister who didn't have time for the Lord. But it's kinda different. At the risk of sounding pompous, I always try to prioritize God. Except that I am becoming what Darlene Zschech described in EN10: I tell God I want to worship and serve Him. So He sends people and situations my way to give me an opportunity to do so, but, guess what? I'm too busy praying. Just too busy praying. 

Here are the ugly truths revealed to me: 

"Lord I wanna know You more."

So excited always to go to Church or do quiet time when I've no work...but last I checked, I get to see my family lang during those brief, nagmamadali moments of going to sleep from work and in a hurry to leave for work. 

"Lord, I wanna be a salt and light too."

Haven't visited my two lolas for months now but I always have time to go for a spontaneous trip to Tagaytay with any random friend.

"Lord, I wanna serve You."

Always available for Kids Church but haven't found quality time to sit down and engage the kids God sent to me individually. Kids who need ministering, kids hungry for miracles.

"Lord, I want to be a blessing in every relationship in my life."

I love my friends, soul sisters, small group, even officemates I barely know. But I demand a lot from, argue a lot with and accuse my own sister.

"Lord, thank You for the gift of prayer."

I pray for my sick caller struggling to pay her mortgage, for the old lady crossing the road, for anything at all. And the horrible, shameful truth? I always forget to pray for my own tita who has stage 4 cancer, shackled by one cold sin and who has yet to know Jesus.

Maybe my mind is a sick, twisted thing that blows things out of proportion. Maybe I just don't get it. Oh, there are lotsa things I still don't get, lots of points I'm still missing.

And, yeah, sure I'm the little worshiper who doesn't get it. But I wanna be the worshiper who all the more stubbornly clings on to Jesus for the exact, same reason: because I'm not getting it.

Because I'm not gonna get it by my own understanding.

Only Jesus can do it for me.

And I refuse to NOT remain in Him. After all, in the midst of my flaws and weaknesses, didn't He say, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

And just like Paul, "I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."