I am a product of small groups--that is, I grew more in my walk with God through having a TEAM with me in this walk. But I made a mistake, huge mistake of making a god out of my small group. I did not realize I started to have unrealistic expectations. I wanted control. I felt entitled. And when I did not get my expectations, I crumbled...stayed away and finally, stepped into a 2-year lone journey of my walk with Christ. Oh, don't be mistaken. God never left me. But the journey was more difficult because I was alone. No more did I hear encouraging voices, no more was a sister who helped carry the other end of my baggage.
And the ember. The ember slowly died down as it stood alone, away from the group of ember sticking together, creating and sustaining fire.
I did not immediately realize all of this. I thought I was fine, attending Church on my own, faithfully having quiet time. But really, I started cooling down. The voices of the world were way louder now. And I found myself mirroring their language, I found myself easily irritated, and when I spoke or reacted in a way that is different than how God commanded us to respond and interact with people, i knew something was definitely wrong. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
And this post that I made in Instagram pretty much sums up what happened to me when I became cool towards God.
I did not know how to start getting back to the right path. Maybe I knew, but for some reason, life always gets in the way...and I just couldn't get started. I kept putting it off, and before I knew it, there were two whole years of a cold spiritual journey.
God knew I am so going to need help. And today was the day He initiated a move.
I went to catch up with old friends...sisters-in-Christ at work. It was an ordinary catch up, and i wasn't really looking forward to it because remember my heart was cold and I didn't have any interest in another small group meeting. I went anyway.
We met at 9ish in the morning and left Coffee Bean at 9ish in the evening. L.A. shared her struggles with her own spiritual family. Lyt talked about her own share of spiritual family challenges. And I was like, wait, what? We were going through the same thing and we did not know about it? So the stories poured...we talked about our feelings, our assumptions, the consequences, our positions.
And we all realized...the enemy has wreaked havoc in our lives long enough. It's time to get back up and fight back. We did not know how...but we started with what we know how.
Commit a time with God everyday... and cover each other with prayers.
We started a group chat in Facebook, just the three of us. We called it SHOFAR--a hebrew word meaning trumpet. In the Old Testament, the people of God start their battles by sounding the trumpet. And that's what we are doing. We confessed our sins to each other and shared every revelation from God. By August of this year, we saw how faithful God is! We may not be 'there' yet, but He met us faithfully in those few minutes that we dedicated to Him. We read a word here, and then see how relevant that Word was going to be later that day. And God just kept revealing. He kept meeting us, I swear I would have imagined Him waiting in that spot by Himself even if neither of us shows up.
The mountains to climb are still high...but one thing's for sure. God will never leave us even in the low mountains. He never judges us or plants grudges against us for leaving Him in this walk. In fact, He is forever working, forever restoring us no matter how often we pull away.
And the ember. The ember slowly died down as it stood alone, away from the group of ember sticking together, creating and sustaining fire.
I did not immediately realize all of this. I thought I was fine, attending Church on my own, faithfully having quiet time. But really, I started cooling down. The voices of the world were way louder now. And I found myself mirroring their language, I found myself easily irritated, and when I spoke or reacted in a way that is different than how God commanded us to respond and interact with people, i knew something was definitely wrong. After all, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
And this post that I made in Instagram pretty much sums up what happened to me when I became cool towards God.
I did not know how to start getting back to the right path. Maybe I knew, but for some reason, life always gets in the way...and I just couldn't get started. I kept putting it off, and before I knew it, there were two whole years of a cold spiritual journey.
God knew I am so going to need help. And today was the day He initiated a move.
I went to catch up with old friends...sisters-in-Christ at work. It was an ordinary catch up, and i wasn't really looking forward to it because remember my heart was cold and I didn't have any interest in another small group meeting. I went anyway.
We met at 9ish in the morning and left Coffee Bean at 9ish in the evening. L.A. shared her struggles with her own spiritual family. Lyt talked about her own share of spiritual family challenges. And I was like, wait, what? We were going through the same thing and we did not know about it? So the stories poured...we talked about our feelings, our assumptions, the consequences, our positions.
And we all realized...the enemy has wreaked havoc in our lives long enough. It's time to get back up and fight back. We did not know how...but we started with what we know how.
Commit a time with God everyday... and cover each other with prayers.
We started a group chat in Facebook, just the three of us. We called it SHOFAR--a hebrew word meaning trumpet. In the Old Testament, the people of God start their battles by sounding the trumpet. And that's what we are doing. We confessed our sins to each other and shared every revelation from God. By August of this year, we saw how faithful God is! We may not be 'there' yet, but He met us faithfully in those few minutes that we dedicated to Him. We read a word here, and then see how relevant that Word was going to be later that day. And God just kept revealing. He kept meeting us, I swear I would have imagined Him waiting in that spot by Himself even if neither of us shows up.
The mountains to climb are still high...but one thing's for sure. God will never leave us even in the low mountains. He never judges us or plants grudges against us for leaving Him in this walk. In fact, He is forever working, forever restoring us no matter how often we pull away.
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| The lady on the right is not part of the Shofar sisters. She is another friend we always invite to our meetings. |
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