Battles and the Warrior

Do you ever feel God is so distant?  That He orchestrates events to strengthen your character--from afar? Sitting holy and distant in His throne and looking on you as you fight your battles alone?  Our circumstances can be so difficult it is hard to believe God is with us. 

Beloved, that is a lie. Let me share with you 3 things that will shatter that lie.

1. God Himself is a warrior.  

• The Lord is a warrior.  The Lord is His Name. Exodus 15:3

2. God is the one fighting the battles for you.

1. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God Acts 5:38
2. He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” 2 Kings 6:16
3. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
4. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. 2 Chronicles 20:15
5. ...for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory. Deut 20:4
6. Because the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you Deut 23:14
7. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deut 31:8
8. For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me. Psalm 18:39
9. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Luke 10:19
10. Through you we push down our foes; through your name we tread down those who rise up against us. Psalm 44:5
11. fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
12. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4
13. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
14. I will go before you and level the exalted place Isaiah 45:2
15. You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you.’ Deut 3:22

3. In the heart of the Warrior is YOU.  Inspired by this blog

"That’s how much you mean to me!

That’s how much I love you!

I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,

trade the creation just for you."

- Isaiah 43:4 (MSG)

"Do you still love me?"

She was rebellious when she was young. 
She couldn't remember how many times she ran away from her parents. She wouldn't see them for weeks and months.
One day, she was sitting atop the stairs of a hotel when her daddy found her. He asked softly, "Anak, do you still love me?"

She was irritated. She moved away stomping her feet. She hopped on a car and looked back at her daddy and saw him exactly how she left him, sitting there, looking confused and sad.  As the car took her away, he became a smaller and smaller figure until he vanished from her sight.

Years later she has gotten over the "running away" phase but was still rebellious this time directly against the One who created her. She ran away from Him all her life thinking she didn't need Him in her life. 

One day, she was sitting in a cafeteria inside a building. She needed to consult a professional regarding an ethical decision that needed to be made. But the man instead explained to her how hopeless she was because of those terrible things she did.  She felt fear quickly filling her up like water being poured over a glass. 
Fear of hopelessness. 
Fear of punishment. 
Fear of eternal damnation.
Fear of God.
Tears were welling up.
The man continued. 
The cafeteria was noisy and her tears were blurring everything.
But she heard the man say,
"...He died for you while you were still a sinner."

It reminded her of how a loving father sat beside a rebellious daughter atop the stairs of a hotel in the 90's. 
But in that cafeteria, with all her sins laid bare on the table, God too asked her what her daddy asked back then.

  
Except that it was a slightly different question. 

"Do you know I still love you?"

Salie and J.D.

Through the life of this friend of mine, I am witnessing how God works all things for those who love Him.  I am seeing how God does not abandon them (see my blog before about Salie and J.D.)...how He is patient and gentle and forgiving and generous.  


It's hard to feel God's presence during difficulties. We hurl complaints and grumblings at Him, either vocally or deep inside our hearts. But look at this God! He is so patient, gentle, forgiving, generous--wait I just said that, didn't I? Haha, oooh how I worship this Lord!


To Jesus:  Lord, J.D. is so handsome, thank You Lord for him! I pray that you don't let our corrupt generation influence him.  Please let J.D. be Yours and Yours alone. Amen.


To Salie: You may have taken on such a difficult path, sweetie.  But as long as you don't push away the Hand that guides you, hems you in, provides for you and protects you...you will be alright. 


To JD: Baby, do you know what kind of dad you have? Read below (when you're older hehe)



Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
    this is God, whose dwelling is holy. - Psalm 68:5




And do you know what your Dad wants to tell you?



So do not fear, for I am with you; 
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

Psalm 139--a comfort even in daily trivialities

A large chunk of my score card at work depends on the result of customer surveys on my service.  The clincher is, no matter how you give your best, if the customer doesn’t feel like it, you will always get a zero.  

Earlier today we had our team meeting and I was bummed out because I received my first survey score out of the 4 surveys this month and it's a fail.  I knew already how it will significantly affect my scorecard and my incentives and it’s hard to be cheerful that moment.  After our meeting, I took my lunch break inside our company’s prayer room and talked to my Father in heaven. I told Him that I will need three perfect 10’s in order to maintain my high scores.  But I also told Him (more like reminding myself) that He is my boss and I will praise Him whether I flunk or I pass.  After lunch, we received an email on the latest update on our survey scores for the entire month.

And guess what? Three perfect 10’s for me!

I blinked back tears when it dawned on me that He has long answered my prayer before I even uttered it.

I couldn’t feel more secure than when I strongly feel that God is involved even in little events in my life.  Not just as a Spectator watching me quietly as I pray but Someone who..

knows when I sit down or stand up

knows my thoughts even when I’m far away

knows everything I do and what I am going to say even before I say it

goes before me and follows me

recorded every day of my life before it even happened.

Yes, it’s Psalm 139.  And like I said in my blog in the past, no one ever is going to be more involved in my life or your life than the Person described in this passage. 

Read it. Meditate it.  Even alter the pronouns and make it seem as if God’s talking to you.

I love it when He woos.  He’s the only Wooer who means every word.

His love is too lofty to understand!

In troubles and in joys...Your love is steadfast.

Two weeks ago, I declared a prayer and fasting week to myself for two things: 


1. Papa's facing trouble with his landlord
2. My ate's safe arrival at home




Last Friday which is the last day of my fast, I was at home getting ready to sleep when mama received a call that there were policemen inside papa's apartment. They smashed the doors, took the roof down and broke things here and there.  The chaos even wounded my cousin's toddler.


Both my mom and I were filled with panic because after the call, we couldn't get a hold of them and we don't know what's happening there.  We felt helpless waiting for the phone to ring or for our cell phones to beep. 


I couldn't wait any longer so I ran inside the bedroom to call out on God.  


Then I burst into tears. 


Not because of fear but because I remember how I cheated on my fast. They were not tears of shame though. They were tears of being overwhelmed with God's love.  Instead of God in-your-facing to me how I EASILY abandoned my fast and EASILY came running back to Him in need, He made me feel so loved and so protected. There's this incredible peace that filled me that moment.


Oh the joy of having God as your very loving and protective and mighty Dad!


What stunned me is how His love is steadfast in this time of trouble and in joy two days later when my ate arrived home after almost two years.


Amazing God!!!

Humility that belittles

I texted sorry to papa because I feel that my tone is masungit while we're clarifying some details earlier today. 

I usually just pretend nothing happened whenever I become rude to my parents and would vow to do something nice for them to assuage the guilt but today something nagged at me that I might have hurt his feelings when he was just trying to help. So I txtd him.

I was walking briskly inside MOA with the walk of a person who knows where she's headed and was nervously expecting a reply that would reprimand my rudeness.  Instead I received this message. 


"Don't mind it."


In that brief moment, I felt a strong mixture of belonging to someone who doesn't demand I explain my behavior, someone who doesn't want me to carry the burden of offending him...someone who's quick to forgive me.

I couldn't help but remember (and be ashamed) why there are many moments in my prayer life when I feel worried that I'm too, too despicable that God wouldn't be able to stand me.  Don't you experience those FALSE ideas playing in our heads while praying?

I pray crying myself to death asking sorry but it feels like God is stone-cold watching me impassively because He's not that big enough to forgive my biggest sin. 

It sometimes makes me feel I am conversing with a parent who refuses to talk so I'm gonna quietly leave the room and do something nice to make up for my being a meanie.

Yes, I do get that feeling. 

In those moments, I am maybe praying intensely and poring over the bible solemnly BUT without realizing I am actually belittling God-- especially what He did on the cross!

And I feel worse than an active notorious murderer!

At least, that notorious murderer is likely ignorant of Jesus or else he would have quit. But me, I hear Jesus every sunday, I read blogs of pastors regularly but still I am strongly inclined to belittle this God I claim to be the greatest in all universe!

I'm glad that He knows we tend to pattern His motives with our nature that He encourages us with this:


"If you then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven..."Luke 11:13


 And Eliphaz would have rebuked me with,


"Can a mortal be more righteous than God? Can a man be more pure than his Maker?"Job 4:17


I pray that God would never stop giving me realizations like this and would rebuke me even right in the middle of praying to remind me that not all prayers are good however heartfelt. 


I should stay away from prayers that do nothing but insult the heart of my Father in heaven. 

"The fastest way to kill your prayer life is to combine small thoughts about God with big thoughts about self." 

- Ptr. Rich blaylock

Faithful...even when we're faithless

Today I saw another display of God's faithfulness and mercy.

JD or Stephen Jacob

2x + 6a equals, "Tutor, I don't know..." (blush)

DEAD!

Chasing after my 10 year-old dead dream...so hard, I'm scared. It's taking so long, I'm scared. Something might go wrong, I'm scared.  Holding on to Dad above, the only One who's able to give life to the dead (even dead dreams) and calls those things which do not exist (like a college diploma) as though they did.

-(romans 4:17)

My Dad above who has incredible dreams for me (1 Corinth 2:9)

AFRAID!

Fear is always related to future events.

"We may never know what the future holds, but at least we know Who holds it."(pastor paolo)

I know that God will not demand for me to be INSTANTLY and PERFECTLY brave at ALL TIMES in going after my dreams. But He will journey with me, instructing me and teaching me in the way I should go. And like a loving Dad that He is, His eyes will be upon me as I go (Psalm 32:8)

So if i get afraid...I will remember WHO is it that's walking with me, WHO is it that never leaves me nor forsakes me and then fear will melt into worship. 

EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANT!

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all

that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…”

- Ephesians 3:20

"Dream big because your God is bigger than your biggest dream."

- The Fire House

I can forget all the equations and formulas but I will remember Your promises. I'm going to believe You, Lord. I will move and I will wait. Only through YOU I can do anything. :)

Involved! Way, way involved!

God is shockingly personal. 

Off the top of my head I named my top 5 persons that care about me. None of them compares to how God is so heavily involved in my life.

None of them would care the way He cares, would happily dream big dreams for me the way He does.  None of them would sink into concern deeper than what God feels about the matters of my life. And none of them would die for me.

For a God, I'm gonna say it again, He is shockingly personal!

Tell me, who is more involved in your life than the Person described in the text below?

You have searched me, LORD, 

   and you know me. 

You know when I sit and when I rise; 

   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

You discern my going out and my lying down; 

  you are familiar with with all my ways. 

Before a word is on my tongue 

   you, LORD, know it completely. 

You hem me in behind and before, 

   and you lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

   too lofty for me to attain.

For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 

   I know that full well. 

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

   before one of them came to be. 

— 

   when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139:1-6 / 13-19